KARKAT: speak to John

YOU ARE NOW TALKING TO A RANDOM FUCKASS. SAY SOMETHING, ASSHOLE!
▲: HEY, FUCKASS.
▼: hehe hey karkles
▲: FUCK, DON'T CALL ME THAT, EGBERT.
▼: why what's the problem, karkles?
▼: haha
▲: IT'S FUCKING ANNOYING, THAT'S THE PROBLEM, YOU NOOKWHIFFING GRUB.
▼: aw fine. okay how about.... karkitty?
▼: heh beep beep meow!
▲: THAT'S EVEN WORSE.
▼: karkitty it is!
▲: WHY. WHY DO YOU FEEL THE FUCKING NEED TO ANNOYING ME?
▼: haha you're so easy to get riled up.
▲: THE ONLY REASON FOR THAT IS THE IMAGE OF YOUR SHIT-EATING GRIN ON YOUR FUCKING FACE AS YOU LAUGH AT ME.
▼: are you watching me through that viewscreen of yours?
▼: it's kinda creepy, karkles. like you're just watching me....
▲: I FUCKING CREATED YOU, I CAN DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT.
▼: internet pedo!
▲: THE HELL IS THAT?
▼: you're watching little kids on the internet!
▼: creeeeep
▲: WE'RE THE SAME GRUBFUCKING AGE, NOOKSTAIN.
▼: it's still creepy though i can't see you back.
▼: if i could it'd be like video chatting!
▼: that would be cool! but no you're just watching me like a creep.
▲: THAT SOUNDS STUPID.
▲: BESIDES, I DOUBT THOSE FANCY FUCKING SPECTACLES HAVE AN INTERNET VIDEO VIEWING DEVICE.
▼: oh wait a minute my glasses!
▼: wait let me see if i can....
▼: connect to your computer here....
▲: THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, FUCKBERT.
▼: i'm gonna set up a stream so i can see you
▼: dave sent me a program
▼: but i'm not sure how to install it.
▲: WHAT THE HELL IS A STREAM OF FLUID GOING TO DO?
▼: a video stream silly!
▼: geez karkles just trust me i sort of know what i'm doing here.
▲: YOU KNOWING ANYTHING SLIGHTLY FRIGHTENS ME.
▼: pshh don't be a pussy man, i want to see what you trolls look like!
▼: okay wait here it's installed.
▼: let me try to run this program....
▲: EGBERT, I WILL JUST TURN OFF MY HUSKTOP IF YOU TRY ANYTHING YOU LABEL AS FUCKING FUNNY, ALRIGHT?
▼: haha like what?
▲: FUCK, I DON'T KNOW.
▼: ok i got it!
▼: whoa.....
▼: is that you?
▲: WHO THE FUCK ELSE WOULD IT BE.
▼: you have grey skin! haha are those horns?
▼: wave karkat!
▲: *Huffs and rubs his forehead, and then waves* YEAH, THEY'RE HORNS. YOUR SKIN IS ALL PINK AND SHIT. BIG FUCKING DEAL IF MINE IS GREY.
▼: do all the trolls have grey skin and black hair?
▲: OBVIOUSLY.
▼: hehe that's awesome.
▼: this is so coooool i get to see an alien whooo haha
▼:
▲: *Rolls his eyes* YEAH, WHOO, I GET TO STARE AT A FUCKING PINK MONKEY. I'M JUST AS ENTHUSIASTIC AS YOU OVER HERE.
▼: hey i'm not a monkey! *Pouts at Karkat*
▲: YOU MENTIONED IT, NOT ME. AND CUT THAT SHIT OUT.
▼: nope. *Continues pouting*
▲: *Covers his face with a hand and lowly growls* FUCKING STOP.
▼: never.
▼: *Still pouting, he sticks out his tongue*
▲: *Walks away from the husktop, still covering his face with a hand*
▼: kaaaarkaaaat come back! ugh fine look i'm not pouting!
▲: *Flops into the chair a minute or two later, the usual scowl on his lips* GOOD.
▼: *Grins derpily* gosh karkles you're so angry all the time how do your friends put up with you?
▼: haha
▲: YES, WE'VE ESTABLISHED THAT I'M ALWAYS VERY ORNERY. GO ME. *Rolls his eyes again and makes a little circle with his finger in the air, and then plops it into his lap*
▼: pfft it's okay you're still adorable!
▲: I AM NOT. *Crosses his arms and glares*
▼: hehe you most definitely are.
▲: NOPE.
▼: the more you deny it the truer it gets! *Chuckles and grins happily*
▲: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE?
▼: hehe yeah i guess not....
▼: so what are you up to?
▲: JUST TALKING TO YOU, OBVIOUSLY.
▼: i know this is so cool!
▼: but i mean are you doing anything else?
▼: i'm bored :/
▲: I DON'T SEE HOW THIS IS "SO COOL." AND NO, NOT REALLY.
▼: because we finally get to talk! and i get to see you in person which is awesome haha
▲: *Sighes quietly and rests his head on his arm* SURE, I GUESS SO, WHATEVER.
▼: *frowns and curiously tilts his head* you seem so unhappy all the time karkles.
▲: YEAH WELL I'M SORTOF BEING FLUNG TO MY DEATH OVER HERE ON A METEOR.
▼: but everything will work out, won't it?
▼: right? i hope it does....
▲: PROBABLY NOT, NOPE.
▼: *pouts angrily* it will i promise i'm gonna make it all work out.
▼: besides you should make the most of what you have then!
▲: I'M STUCK IN A ROOM FULL OF FUCKING TROLLS. I DON'T KNOW WHERE HALF OF THEM ARE. I HAVEN'T SLEPT SINCE WE FUCKING STARTED THIS GAME AND I CAN'T NOW BECAUSE GAMZEE LAID CLAIM TO ANY SOPOR SLIME WE MIGHT HAVE HAD. HOW DO I MAKE THE MOST OF THIS SHITHOLE.
▼: karkat... *Tears up a little and quickly looks away*
▼: b-but it has to work out it just has to.
▼: you're alive at least i guess.
▼: you have friends.
▲: .. SHIT, EGBERT, ARE YOU CRYING?
▼: no idiot of course not! *Angrily wipes a hand over his eyes*
▲: IT SURE LOOKS LIKE IT. WHY ARE YOU?
▼: i'm not! i don't fucking cry.
▼: hmph. i just don't like any of this. i miss my dad and i don't want you to die.
▲: WELL, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE, AREN'T WE?
▼: i'm god tier though.
▲: AND YOU'LL EVENTUALLY DO SOMETHING HEROIC AND DIE.
▼: maybe i guess. i hope the herioc thing involves saving you guys.
▲: *For a moment he pouts a little more than normal, blinking* BUT..
▼: but what? if i can save you guys i'd sacrifice myself.
▲: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
▼: *Blushes a little and smiles* well i don't want you all to die.
▲: BUT IT'S INEVITABLE.
▼: ugh why is this so stupid! i want you to be okay!
▼: we should have beat the game and all met up and had everyone be okay damnit/
▲: I'M JUST A FUCKING FAILURE OF A LEADER, JOHN. WHY WOULD YOU SACRIFICE YOURSELF FOR ME LIKE THAT? ERR, THE OTHERS.
▼: you're not a failure! don't say that. i'd sacrifice myself to save you because the universe is better with you! i like you... guys.
▼: *Blushes bright red and facepalms* heh that's sort of cheesy.
▲: *Looks away and hides his face with a hand, and also somewhat pulls up his sweater too* IT'S SO CHEESEY, I THINK YOU JUST COATED THIS CHATBOX WITH CHEESE.
▼: haha sorry karkat. um but this is sort of a deppressing topic.
▼: so let's talk about something else?
▲: SURE. LIKE WHAT?
▼: like.... hmm. *Eyes light up and he grins* what's your favorite color?
▲: WHAT.
▼: you heard me!
▲: I DON'T HAVE A FAVORITE COLOR.
▲: THOUGH, GRAY IS JUST DANDY.
▼: aw don't have one how boooring! *Giggles childishly*
▼: though grey is okay i guess....
▼: still pretty boring.
▲: BLUE IS BORING.
▼: blue is wonderful karkat.
▼: the sky is blue! water is blue! my shirt is blue!
▼: it's awesome everywhere. hehe.
▲: THE SKY WASN'T BLUE ON ALTERNIA.
▼: whaaaat what color was it?
▲: A DULL DARK RED.
▼: sounds creepy.... like blood....
▼: oh speaking of so if all the trolls type in their blood color, is yours grey?
▲: NO, MY BLOOD IS NOT FUCKING GREY. CAN WE PLEASE NOT TALK ABOUT THIS.
▼: whoa touchey karkat! come on what's wrong?
▼: just tell me.
▲: NO. FUCK OFF.
▼: why? is it like, hot pink? i won't laugh!
▲: DON'T BE FUCKING RIDICULOUS.
▲: I AM ENDING THAT CONVERSATION. IT NEVER HAPPENED.
▼: whyyyyyy? i'll tell you mine! haha
▲: ISN'T IT BLUE?
▲: SINCE YOU TYPE BLUE.
▼: no of course not silly.
▼: we humans don't type our blood color.
▼: we type with i guess our eye color. *Leans in and opens his bright blue eyes wide*
▼: hehe
▲: THAT'S JUST WEIRD.
▼: meh i guess but things you guys do is weird. it's a mattr of perspective.
▼: so tell me!
▲: NO.
▲: [[ dude have you read the latest update? it's got karkat! ]]
▼: (( yeah pfft he gave a frog cancer ))
▼: pleeeaaaseee?
▲: NO. I ALREADY SAID NO.
▼: *Makes puppy dog eyes* karkaaat
▲: .. STOP THAT.
▼: *Sniffs pathetically and looks like a kicked puppy*
▲: *Pauses and just stares at the screen until he sighes and looks down at the keyboard* .. RED. CANDY FUCKING RED. I'M A MUTANT.
▼: *Tilts his head and frowns* red what's wrong with red?
▲: IT'S MUTANT BLOOD. THE LOWEST OF THE LOW, NOT EVEN CONSIDERED ON THE SPECTRUM. YOU'RE THE PAWNS OF ALTERNIA, JUST WAITING TO BE CULLED.
▼: you use grey text to hide the fact that you have red blood? what about if you blush or get hurt or something?
▲: THAT'S WHAT I AVOID. THAT'S.. WHY I LOOK AWAY OFTEN.
▼: well that's ridiculous *Rubs the back of his neck awkwardly* red is a lovely blood color.
▲: IT WOULD ONLY GET ME CULLED.
▼: not on earth!
▲: .. ELABORATE.
▼: no such thing as blood hierarchy on earth. everyone's blood is the same color. it's uh, it's bright red.
▲: *He blinks a few times and sits back in his chair, tilting his head a bit* YOU'RE SHITTING ME.
▼: ehehe *Awkwardly grins* uh yep, my blood is bright red. dave's blood is bright red. rose and jade's blood is bright red.
▼: if anyone on earth DIDN'T have bright red blood, they'd probably be considered mutant.
▲: .. WELL THAT'S.. ODDLY RELAXING.
▼: haha is it? good. so, don't be so bothered by it!
▲: I GUESS SO. BUT I'M STILL NOT GOING TO TELL ANYONE ELSE.
▼: that's fine, if you want to keep secrets you should be able to!
▼: i have some pretty DARK SECRETS *Squints deviously and giggles*
▲: SINCE I TOLD YOU MY SECRET, TELL ME YOURS.
▼: oh i don't actually have any big secrets i guess.
▲: THEY WHY SAY YOU DO? THAT'S JUST FUCKING SILLY.
▼: hehe it was sarcasm karkles do i seem like the kind of guy with a lot to hide?
▲: GOOD POINT.
▼: i secretly... *Gasps in mock surprise* KICK PUPPIES.
▼:
▼: haha yeah right.
▲: NO, NOT THE PUPPIES!
▼: i can't help it!
▼: someone stop me!
▲: I'LL STOP YOU!
▼: hehe you can't! *Giggles and grins derpily at karkat*
▲: I CAN.
▼: psh yeah right i'd like to see you try
▲: MAYBE IF I COULD ACTUALLY HOLD YOU BACK, I WOULD.
▼: *Wiggles his eyebrows suggestively*
▼: and the puppies would love you for that.
▲: KEEP THOSE EYEBROWS DOWN OR I WILL BURN THEM OFF WITH MY HOT ACID RAGEBREATH.
▼: hahaha but you know you love them!
▲: I DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS, JOHN. DON'T MAKE ME EXPLAIN THE QUADRANTS AGAIN.
▼: nooo hehe you know you're flushed for my eyebrows.
▼: does that make sense?
▼: haha no probably not.
▲: THAT MADE NO GOD DAMN SENSE. AT ALL.
▼: okayyy!
▲: .. SO NOW WHAT.
▼: i dunno!
▼: um okay so is it true that dave and um, terezi....
▲: WHAT?
▼: dave said he and terezi had something going on?
▼: i was just wondering, i guess...
▲: *Rolls his eyes and glares as he types* YEAH. IT'S FUCKING ANNOYING, TEREZI WON'T SHUT HER SEEDFLAP.
▼: hehe i'm assuming that means mouth. i'm glad they're happy though!
▼: i thought dave was "too cool" or something but apparently not!
▲: HE SAYS THAT HE'S "TOO COOL" TOO OFTEN.
▼: yeah...
▼: heh but he's really just a sweet kid i think!
▲: I REALLY COULDN'T CARE LESS.
▼: bluh karkles youre so mean
▼:
▼: haha
▲: WE'VE GONE OVER THIS.
▼: you're an evil person yeah i know *Glares at karkat and sticks out his tongue*
▲: DAMN STRAIGHT.
▼: heh um not really.
▲: WHAT?
▼: *Blushes bright red* nevermind.
▲: TELL ME.
▼: nothing i didn't mean anything!
▲: YOU OBVIOUSLY DID.
▼: no it was a slip forget it!
▲: SLIP OR NOT, EXPLAIN YOURSELF, EGBERT.
▼: nope!
▲: WHY THE FUCK NOT?
▼: *Clamps his mouth shut and refuses to talk*
▲: EGBERT.
▲: [[ nooooo my interneeettt... ]]